Most people don't seem to like asking for help. Culturally, it can be seen as a sign of weakness. And, good grief, who in our society wants to display that? Yet, if we have chronic pain, sometimes we might have to ask for help. Perhaps we must ask a family member or friend for help with something. We may ask an employee at the market for a hand with heavy groceries. How do we navigate these potentially uncomfortable situations?
First and foremost, we have no room for negative cultural messages in our heads. We are not asking for help because we are somehow weak or inferior. On the contrary, we are stalwart souls dealing with a lot! The asking for help arises when we literally can't do something. This is in no way the same as not wanting to do something. Therefore, we need to have a clear perspective about ourselves, recognizing that we are internally strong even when we are limited physically.
Secondly, it's important to set a positive tone when asking for help. If you anticipate someone reacting negatively, you invite that reaction. Conversely, if, as you ask for help, you look forward to getting to know someone a little bit better, and are delighted by the prospect, you may be in for a pleasant experience. Many people find joy in helping others, and here you are, the gateway to their experiencing that joy. A request for help can be a "win win" situation. Look for the openness and happiness that can arise both for you and the kind individual who is willing to help.
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