Laughter

There is nothing like a good laugh. It does wonders for our spirits. Even better, laughter heals. All you have to do is google 'benefits of laughter' to see why it is so good for us. Norman Cousins famously used laughter as part of his healing when ill and went on to write about it in Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by the Patient. There is even Laughter Yoga and associated Laughter Clubs.

How often does something come along that is both good for us and fun? If you experience chronic pain, or even if not, do something every day that makes you laugh. Right now I am reading Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling. Yes, I am laughing out loud. Another book that I found hysterical is Round Ireland with a Fridge. In fact, in my life, that book by British comedian, Tony Hawks, is hands down the funniest thing I've ever read . . . but, to be fair, I am only a third of the way through Mindy's book. And, if all else fails, I know I can always turn to YouTube and laugh myself silly.

You know what really tickles you, leaves you holding your sides, and gasping for breath. Follow that path. It's good for the mind, the body, and the spirit. Enjoy!

A Strong and Happy Spirit

Life is full of challenges. Some of these can be exhilarating, such as the work leading up to a degree or new job. Some can be daunting, such as chronic pain or troubling life issues. Chronic pain because of its persistent nature can recall for us other sources of pain that need to be addressed. For example, perhaps we feel we're not living up to our potential, perhaps we would like to improve our outlook, perhaps we've put off addressing certain family issues, or perhaps we need to deal with troubling events that occurred in the past. To recognize and deal with such issues is a wonderful thing. It frees your spirit.

This needn't be overly stressful. In fact, the more gently you approach things of this nature, the more effective you may be. Start to think about what you would like to change or address. Think about resources that may be available. Make a plan which will utilize your own strengths and any outside expertise you may need. Rather than diving in too deep, pace yourself. Spend time constructively addressing the issue, take a break, do something fun, and then return to it when you are reenergized.

There's no time like the present to get to things that need doing. Nowhere is this more important than those issues which affect your spirit. A strong and happy spirit is the foundation of dealing effectively and productively with chronic pain. Do all you can to provide that for yourself.

I Am Who I Am

I've had some down time lately due to being sick. It seems that when I catch something, I'm usually in for a week or so of trying to bounce back to health. It can be slow going.

Some people I know are able to use their time well when sick. They may meditate, or read, or do some other quiet activity that is, nonetheless, enriching. Not I. When I am sick, it seems all I can do to get through the day . . . or, sleep through it.

I wish I were one of those who were able to use this down time to my advantage. I'm not sure why I am not. It may be because of constitution or nature. It may be because at times chronic pain has run me down in the first place. Whatever the reason, I usually come out of sickness behind in my endeavors rather than ahead.

This is actually something I'm okay with. That's not to say I wouldn't leap at the chance to be different. However, try as I might, I am who I am. Therefore, when sick, I relax, I achieve nothing other than gradual increase of health, and I think with pleasure about all the things I'll enjoy once I'm better.

Coming Out of a Stall

Feeling stalled can happen to anyone. Stalls can occur with projects in process, new projects, or life in general. Experiencing a stall doesn't have to be a big deal as long as you can see your way clear to coming out of it. It is important to control the stall rather than allowing it to control you.

The first step in dealing with a stall is recognizing what is happening. You've lost momentum and are at risk of losing ground. The second step is assessing the cause of the stall and looking at options for coming out of it. You want to make sure that these options don't include the same approaches that brought on the stall in the first place. Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Opting into new patterns may bring you into unchartered territory. Don't try to get out of the stall so quickly that you jump into this territory unprepared. Think and plan. Once you're comfortable with a course of action, you are ready to act. The hope is that this new action will resolve the stall. If not, repeat the process. It may take a few tries to get the result you want.

What does all this have to do with chronic pain? Chronic pain itself is an ongoing project and one that seeps into many areas of life. Thus, if we feel stalled with it, there is the potential to feel stalled in other areas. More so than before chronic pain, an awareness of and attention to stalls will be helpful to us. If we are aware in this way, life will be easier.

Allowing It to Be

Allowing it to be. That phrase holds much import for many situations in life. In our culture, we may think that, no matter the situation, action is required if there is a problem. Fix it; erase it; adjust it. Whatever it takes. It can be surprisingly difficult to take a stance of peace and stillness.

Chronic pain brings with it a multitude of problems which may manifest as physical, but which also may be emotional or mental. The frustration of trying to sort it all out may be present. Sadness at the current situation may occur. Fear of what the future holds may arise. While we may not look forward to these experiences, we can use them to see more deeply into ourselves, our characters, and our bodies. If we allow these experiences simply to occur, if we are present with deliberate consciousness, they may provide an opportunity to evolve.

Understanding that we can be still as negative emotions wash over us tells us that we are brave. Peacefulness as we observe an inner storm swelling provides clarity about the nature of the storm. From this clarity we see how best to weather it. Sitting with our frustration allows us to untangle its threads and see how each can best be addressed. Resting in awareness of our cells, including those whose message is pain, opens a bridge to healing of the self.

Usually courage is seen as an inner trait that gives strength to fight the outer battles. In truth far more courage is required to face the inner turmoil. Allowing the turmoil to be, we see how to make our way through it.

Expectations

We all have expectations for ourselves. Those expectations can be informed by the hopes and dreams of those who love us, as well as the hopes and dreams we have for ourselves. However, when chronic pain enters our lives, we may be dealing with others' expectations in ways that are new to us. Family members, health professionals, and colleagues may have expectations based on what they think we can do, or ought to do.

Such expectations can run the gamut. We may get input on how much we should exercise, what we should eat, when and how we should work, etc. Some of these expectations may be realistic. Yet, sometimes they are not. Sometimes these expectations are set by people who do not understand what we are experiencing. This can be true of those who love us and those who work with us. It can also be true of those health professionals whose job it is to treat us. When that happens we are faced with a dual dilemma. We must, where possible, correct those unrealistic expectations and we must deal with the expectations that are appropriate.

All of this translates into a loss of independence. The independence we have carried with us throughout our lives, but especially as adults, can be diminished as others weigh in on our lives. Those with the best intentions, even those who are absolutely correct in their expectations, still represent a loss of autonomy for us.

The loss of independence, depending on our individual situations, can range from subtle to major. It is imperative that we deal with this constructively in order to maintain a good quality of life. So, the first step is to set our own expectations. Taking input from those who are weighing in, we must assess with an open mind. Perhaps some of the input is not to our liking, but is appropriate. That we come to accept. Perhaps some of the input is completely inappropriate. That we reject. All the while, we maintain positive relationships with others. However, we use our own expectations and analysis as our baseline. We are the only ones inside the experience of chronic pain. From this vantage point we see what really works. Perhaps something we initially resisted actually works well. Perhaps something we thought would be great doesn't provide much benefit. Or, perhaps we were right in our initial instincts about what would be really helpful. Though we have expectations from others that we never expected to have, we maintain our independence in recognizing that the view from the inside most accurately reflects our experience.

Joy in Asking for Help

Most people don't seem to like asking for help. Culturally, it can be seen as a sign of weakness. And, good grief, who in our society wants to display that? Yet, if we have chronic pain, sometimes we might have to ask for help. Perhaps we must ask a family member or friend for help with something. We may ask an employee at the market for a hand with heavy groceries. How do we navigate these potentially uncomfortable situations?

First and foremost, we have no room for negative cultural messages in our heads. We are not asking for help because we are somehow weak or inferior. On the contrary, we are stalwart souls dealing with a lot! The asking for help arises when we literally can't do something. This is in no way the same as not wanting to do something. Therefore, we need to have a clear perspective about ourselves, recognizing that we are internally strong even when we are limited physically.

Secondly, it's important to set a positive tone when asking for help. If you anticipate someone reacting negatively, you invite that reaction. Conversely, if, as you ask for help, you look forward to getting to know someone a little bit better, and are delighted by the prospect, you may be in for a pleasant experience. Many people find joy in helping others, and here you are, the gateway to their experiencing that joy. A request for help can be a "win win" situation. Look for the openness and happiness that can arise both for you and the kind individual who is willing to help.

Happy Alone Time

No matter how much we love other people, or how much we enjoy being social, we may find that chronic pain brings with it the need to be alone a bit more. This may occur because of fatigue, loss of stamina, or some other, seemingly negative, health-related reason. The trick is to turn this into a positive. The answer is happy alone time.

Alone time can be a source of rejuvenation and vigor. It's most productive when we look forward to it and utilize it well. Being alone can be an opportunity for peaceful rest if that's what we enjoy. It can mean a chance to meditate and look inward. It can result in a widening of interests and greater education through research and reading. Just because our bodies may be a bit slower, doesn't mean we can't flourish.

When in a positive frame of mind, plan different activities for those times when your body demands a little r and r. If you're not used to solo activities, think about what interests you and how you can pursue those interests from an armchair or recliner. Having a plan allows you to be proactive rather than reactive. Take steps to ensure that you are engaged and happy when spending time alone.