Doctor, Doctor

Chronic pain means health care professionals in your life. The options of whom to see are greater than ever, but the bottom line is that we need good partners in health care. It's really important to know when a relationship with a health care professional is going great and when to pull the plug.

You can tell a lot about your relationship by how you feel when you leave his or her office. If it's a good relationship, you will probably feel energized, committed to plans made during the visit, and, in general, good. This can be true even if you got news that wasn't welcome. There is no substitute for feeling heard and supported. Such a positive presence can carry you through a lot, including unwelcome information.

If on the other hand, you leave feeling irritated, cranky, and unheard, this can be a sign that you need to find another health care professional. It will be important, of course, to discern whether you feel cranky due to other causes such as pain or upsetting news. However, if leaving in a not-so-great mood is typical, this can be a sign of a less than optimal relationship.

No matter how great the relationship, quality of care is one of the most important health care issues. If your practitioner is lovely, but incompetent, it's definitely time for a switch. However, given good quality of care, how the practitioner relates to you is critically important to your health care journey. Feeling undermined can contribute to poor health. Feeling uplifted can contribute to good health. Keep looking until you find that competent professional who provides support, not just for your body, but for your spirit as well.

To Share or Not to Share

To share, or not to share, that is the question. I would guess that all of us who experience chronic pain have had people ask us for details either on our condition or on how we were doing with it. In my experience, some are truly interested, but many are asking because they think it's the polite thing to do. In reality, they are not interested. It can be easy to spot the difference, and when it is, it makes our replies easy. More difficult is encountering a person who says they are interested, really, really they are, but at the same time they don't want to hear about it.

I have a relative who would repeatedly ask me for details both on what I was experiencing physically and on how I was doing with that experience. Naively, I would proceed to divulge how things were going. That is, until I noticed that, inevitably, later in each conversation, she would tell me I shouldn't complain to people. Hmmm. That was curious, particularly since I felt no need to discuss it with her. I decided to consciously skirt the topic in every conversation we had. When it came up, I switched the subject or made some noncommittal remark. We had some lovely conversations and I didn't hear anything about my "complaining." Then one day, she pointedly asked me for an update. In as few words as possible I gave her one and went on to other things. Again, it was a good conversation. I seemed to have solved the puzzle of dealing with this particular person. For whatever reason, she either didn't want to hear, or wasn't comfortable hearing, about my experience even though she had persistently asked me to talk about it. Freeing her of that burden, which she couldn't seem to do herself, freed us to proceed with a good relationship.

This example is a bit unusual. Yet, it does serve to make a point. Just because we experience chronic pain, that doesn't mean it is fair game in conversations. Not everyone is interested, but even when they are, not everyone can handle it gracefully. If we feel the need to talk about it, it is productive to have a trusted person or people with whom to do that. In any other case, we are free to converse on all the wonderful topics there are that make for good conversation. Instead of possibly awkward situations, we can simply enjoy the company of other people.

Persistence

Persistence is one of those things that may feel out of reach just when you need it most. Chronic pain is there for the long haul and we can sometimes think we're a bit short on all that it takes to keep going. But a look at what persistence really is shows that we persist simply by being. We continue on with the chronic pain whether or not we want to. We are here. It's not going away, but neither are we.

There may be times when we have the energy to be proactive. We search out methods and means of relief. We exercise when possible. We read incessantly. We surf for solutions. At other times it's all we can do to get out of bed in the morning, if that. Through it all though we are persisting with this uninvited companion on our path.

To know we persist regardless is a welcoming thought. We meet a challenge every day that is daunting. Those who haven't experienced it can't begin to understand what life is for us. Whatever other challenges life may present, we face them with chronic pain. Yet, here we are. It's quite remarkable. We keep going, often cheerfully. When those times occur that we do think we are short on resources, we can remember that still we persist. And with that thought we can smile.

Collaboration

Collaboration can be incredible! Anyone can have a good idea. The ability to share the idea, receive input, and together realize the goal can have exponentially beneficial results. Most interesting to me are collaborative ideas that result in the greater good.

The capacity of the internet is being harnessed in just this way. gwap presents games that, when played online, improve search engines. Freerice provides education and rice for free. Pick a subject, answer questions, and watch the amount of rice donated increase. These sites are 'win win.' They are good for the player or learner and good for the recipients. Even better they present an opportunity to give for those who are unable to volunteer in person.

Collaboration can contribute to the greater good both in the end result and in the benefits participants experience as they collaborate. Despite chronic pain, we can join in this wonderful phenomenon. Good for others and good for us!

Open Minds and Hearts

Believe it or not an open mind and heart are two of the best things you can have as you deal with chronic pain. Most of us may think we have open minds. However, we may have a subtle automatic rejection system operating just under our conscious level of thought. We gravitate toward the comfortable or proven. We give lip service to new ideas, thinking that we will get around to giving them a fair hearing some day. Yet, that day never comes.

Taking a look at our mental boundaries doesn't mean we have to give up safety or try options that are outlandish or ridiculous. It means we should consciously look at when and why we automatically say no to new ideas and methods. What's the harm in reading an article just because our first reaction is to dismiss it? Even if a new idea ends up being 'not for us,' we may learn something. There may be a snippet of information worth knowing about. Following that snippet may lead us to another article and another. Before we know it, we may have something valuable in hand.

It is the same with our hearts. We may have people or types of people with whom we work well. We may also have ideas about types of people we don't see as a good fit, perhaps based on prior bad experiences. This can be valid, but what if we encountered those types of people under utterly different circumstances and with a different frame of reference? Carrying old feelings through to the present may cause us to miss out on opportunities to collaborate, learn, and heal. Just as we should look carefully at how we automatically say no with our minds, we should look carefully at how we automatically say no with our hearts.

Sometimes dealing with chronic pain can be overwhelming and we seek to shut other things out. Perhaps this is productive in the moment, but we have to take care with this approach. We have too much to lose if our minds and hearts don't remain open. Being open does not mean abandoning critical judgment and the right to say 'no.' It means giving ourselves more opportunities to exercise critical judgment and to say 'yes' or 'no' as appropriate.

Heat, Ice, or Neither?

A change in temperature can be very helpful for chronic pain. For some injuries, of course, there is a prescribed routine, ice for so many hours and then heat. For chronic pain, it sometimes is simply a matter of which one feels better.

I always choose heat. For whatever reason, my body responds well to heat, whereas I have an adverse reaction to cold. I've had physical therapists and doctors who have been surprised at this response. They have felt sure that under certain circumstances anyone would prefer cold. Being a good sport, I've followed their suggestions, only to reaffirm that I like heat. Cold just doesn't work for me unless we're talking about a new injury such as a sprained ankle. For chronic pain, I'll take heat every time.

Others may prefer cold, or a variation of temperatures. The important thing here is the idea that temperature can be our friend as we deal with chronic pain. Experimenting with what works can result in some much needed temporary relief. Of course we want to verify with a professional that variation of temperature won't cause harm. However, once we get the go-ahead, we can add temperature as a valuable tool in managing chronic pain.

Food

Food is a fabulous, wonderful part of our lives. In all its different forms, it can be what it is, fuel, or what it was never meant to be. It can seem like our friend in loneliness. It can signal a celebration in the form of cake and other goodies. But the reality is that food is our fuel. Without it we stop. If the quality of the fuel is poor enough, we may stop because of it. Looking at food as fuel and ensuring the quality of our fuel is critical when chronic pain is on our path.

Many conditions of pain are worsened when weight is added to already stressed parts of the body. Therefore, it may help to look at portions and at types of food that help our body work better. To paraphrase Natalia Rose, our bodies know just what to do with an avocado, but fast food? Not so much. However, even if we love avocados and shun fast food, eating too many avocados will do us no favor. So beginning to take a look at the fuel we ingest every day and how it helps or hurts us can be constructive.

Personally, I try to eat as raw as possible, though I am the first to admit my diet is not completely raw. Juicing has transformed my life in many ways. In terms of how it makes me feel, I haven't felt this innately good since I was about ten. When I juice the internal feeling is as if all my cells stand up and say, "Yay!" With juicing I have access to all the enzymes that would be lost in cooking. Not only do I experience more energy and a more positive outlook, I have experienced some lovely side benefits. My hair had been turning seriously gray and it is now, for the most part, back to its natural color. In my view, this is minor compared to the other benefits, but nice nonetheless.

There are those who might argue against a raw diet, or being vegetarian. Certainly that is their call. The one thing, however, that most agree on is the harm caused by processed foods. With these we are making our already stressed bodies work harder. Certain combinations of sugar, salt, and fat tell our bodies to store fat, not get rid of it. Do we really need this if we're already managing chronic pain?

Having a healthy diet is good for anyone. For those of us with chronic pain, ensuring that our food is not laced with chemicals or processed in a manner that causes harm is only sensible. We already have enough health issues to deal with. We should let food be the fuel that helps us feel better and gives our bodies a break.

How Time Changes

What time is to us, how we perceive and manage it, may change with the arrival of chronic pain. When I was able to work, it was as an engineer/project manager. I installed and supported internet protocol capable telephone systems for businesses. In terms of working dial tone, the buck stopped with me. It was unacceptable to leave a client without dial tone. If that meant sixteen-hour days on the weekend, that's what I worked. If I had to stay until two a.m. on a weekday and show up for work at eight a.m. the next day, I did that. Time was of the essence whether troubleshooting or at an install. On call 24/7, my time was often not my own. I was frequently short on time in my personal life. Yet, I love technology and I loved my clients. I felt the trade-off was worth it.

Now time has taken on a whole new dimension, often defined by pain, its intensity, and the duration of intense pain. In some senses, it shapes who I am and how I relate to others. How much sleep will I get? If pain keeps me awake, will I be able to drive safely? Do I cancel the doctor's appointment or try to find someone to drive me? For the rare lunch out with friends, can I make it, or do I cancel . . . again? Do I push myself beyond safe limits or perhaps have to accept innuendo that I am irresponsible and unreliable? Do I simply watch as potential new friendships, and sometimes old friendships, slip away because I am now too slow or unable to show up consistently? If I'm exhausted, will I have the energy to make sure I walk safely and don't fall? Or, would it be better to stay put in a chair or on the couch? How I use time during the day can be determined by time, the amount of time I was able to sleep. Where I previously managed my time to fulfill responsibilities to others, I now manage my time to fulfill responsibilities to myself. Of primary importance is managing time to protect myself.

This project takes every bit of resources I have. It requires drive, self-monitoring, and a strong sense of responsibility. An outsider might think of this as a selfish project. In reality, the more distance I can have from an emotional desire for a particular outcome, the more objectivity I bring to the project, the better I do. I use time not for what I want, but for what is best for me. I often pass on fun outings because they represent too much time in the car or too much time standing. I deliberately limit myself to protect the mobility I retain. If I experience others' disapproval and distancing, I use it to strengthen my character with the understanding that it's okay if others don't understand. How lucky they are to not know chronic pain! I use my experiences to increase my compassion for others.

I also use my time to explore. Thank goodness for the internet! I can go places and learn things that would have been utterly beyond reach in the past. All those subjects that interested me for years are now open for me. I evolve and adjust to friendships supported more by phone and online time than in-person time. While I am conscious of the negative impact of television, I am glad it is there when that feels like all I am capable of. When I have done all that I can do in one day to address my situation skillfully, my time is truly my own. I use it to educate myself, satisfy my interests, expand my mind, hone my character, chat with friends, and relax. Time for these things is a gift.

Evolve

It makes perfect sense when facing a challenging or difficult task to see to it that you are at your best. How exactly does that work with chronic pain? Is it even possible? Chronic pain means that we are navigating through the health system, dealing, for instance, with doctors, physical therapists, acupuncturists, myofascial therapists, nutritionists, health insurance, and myriad details. Each meeting and phone call is critical to our future and we proceed through them in the midst of pain. Just when we need to be at our best, we are distracted by pain.

What about that? We may be among the fortunate who have partners, family, or friends to help us. Even so, no one is more invested in our health than we are. Thus, no matter how much help we have, or do not have, we are front and center as we seek professional help for our situation. This can be a difficult spot to be in when we are not at our best. We may be attempting to marshall resources that we know exist, but have troubling accessing.

Well, we certainly can't give up. So, then what? I believe one of the most important decisions a person can ever make is whether or not to evolve. It is perhaps the most important decision because it affects every moment of life thereafter. To decide to direct our energy to becoming better is a courageous and breathtaking choice. It is a choice that abandons stagnation and embraces possibility.

As we acknowledge that we can do better and commit to finding out how to do better, we begin to look inward. This is not for the faint of heart. It can reveal work to be done. Going over a meeting or phone call that did not go well, we analyze what happened and determine what we will do differently next time. If more patience would have been useful, we can begin to practice that. If more assertiveness would have been productive, we can practice being assertive without the aggression that alienates. If a greater understanding of anatomy would have facilitated communication, we can do some research. This analysis helps us determine what we should let go and what we should pursue. It may be a slower process requiring more practice than it would have before chronic pain. However, it leads us to being our best.

Though we may have experienced loss because of chronic pain, we hold the power to change ourselves. When we say, "I am not all that I can be," our potential is revealed. We seize the opportunity to live an elevated life. To do so in the midst of chronic pain is laudable. If this is your choice, congratulate yourself. Well done.

Sources of Inspiration

The web for me is a source of inspiration. It can inspire me in ways related to chronic pain. It also provides enormous inspiration related to my life path. The funny thing is, the more inspired I feel, the less I notice pain. It may exist, but the amount of attention it absorbs decreases exponentially as I am absorbed by the wonder that is humanity.

There are websites that I subscribe to and those I visit from time to time. Some, such as The Hunger Site, inspire by virtue of what they are, in this case an opportunity to daily give free food, medical aid, etc., whether or not I choose to purchase something. Others, such as Kiva, inspire by virtue of what they do, in this case making microfinancing available to those who would otherwise be least likely to get it. There are those such as Daily Good that inspire by sharing amazing stories and those run by amazing individuals like Leo Babauta who may also have created other, extremely useful sites such as Zen Habits. Below, in no particular order, is a list of additional websites that have provided inspiration and have renewed my faith in what we humans can accomplish. I hope that if you decide to visit them, you too will feel refreshed and invigorated, hopeful about what life may offer.

www.karmatube.org
www.kindliving.net
www.awakin.org
www.thepeaceartist.com
www.greatergood.berkeley.edu
www.charleseisenstein.net
www.peterbregman.com
www.parabola.org
www.onbeing.org
www.urbanfarmers.com
www.thirdside.org
www.matthieuricard.org
www.theskyisthelimit.se
www.challengeday.org
www.yesmagazine.org
www.odewire.com
www.blinknow.org
www.siyli.org
www.bloodbrotherfilm.com
www.nokidhungry.org
www.helpothers.org
www.moreloveletters.com
www.thehawnfoundation.org
www.treehugger.com/natural-sciences/trees-communicate-one-another-connected-fungi-video.html
www.livingseedlibrary.net
www.myplasticfreelife.com
www.incredible-edible-todmorden.co.uk/home
www.mystrokeofinsight.com
www.jbtbrains.org
www.goodnewsnetwork.org

Knowledge is Power?

Knowledge is power? Well, it can be. Understanding the source of chronic pain is helpful. Understanding what can assist with chronic pain is helpful. Knowledge can certainly be empowering.

What about lack of knowledge? Not knowing holds potential. There is the potential to acquire knowledge about external matters as well as self-knowledge. A state that holds potential is quite different from a state that is "powerless." This distinction is important in how we approach chronic pain.

Chronic pain tends to push us to search for answers. It is a journey that begins when chronic pain appears, continues through a diagnosis, and proceeds as we become accustomed to this new companion on our path. This uninvited companion is rude. Chronic pain nudges us continually, gets in our way, and exhausts us. We look for ways to eject this companion and, if that doesn't work, we look for ways to get chronic pain to at least behave. Chronic pain turns us into seekers.

To be a seeker is to be comfortable with not knowing. This can be quite counter to cultural experiences we may have had. Some families, schools, and work environments prize knowing above all else. In these environments to not know is to be "less than." If this has been our experience, we must put it aside. On our journey feeling "less than" about not knowing is counterproductive. It will serve only to impede us and make us doubt ourselves. Heaping negative emotional experiences upon chronic pain can actually worsen it.

As seekers we celebrate the opportunity to learn and the exhilaration that accompanies learning. Not knowing is an adventurous mystery. Who knows what wonderful development lies in wait for us? Who knows how greatly we can master our own minds? Who knows how greatly we can affect this experience of chronic pain? Who knows what amazing destination awaits that we might otherwise have bypassed? Who knows what wonderful sights we'll see along the way?

Once in a While Something Lovely Comes Along

The wonderful thing about life is that something lovely can happen when you least expect it. Usually I think of this in terms of people and positive interactions, but sometimes an object can surprise you. I am not one to continually search out and purchase new products. However, I do glance at health items from time to time. Usually there is nothing of interest and I move on.

Recently, however, I came upon a Spoonk Accupressure Mat. At first I was skeptical, but then decided to go ahead and take a chance on it. To my surprise and delight, it's a lovely addition to my life. Somehow it takes the edge off my pain.

The purpose of this blog is to share what's worked for me, not to advise or make suggestions for others. What has worked for me might not be what's needed for someone else. Yet, I think it's good to reaffirm that just when you least expect it, something lovely can come along.

Get Comfortable

Some people choose paths of great rigor with the anticipated result of excellence. This choice may be made for a career such as medicine or law. The choice may be part of personal life. Parents devote long hours and sleepless nights over the course of years hoping that their efforts will make a meaningful difference in their children's lives. Monks and nuns willingly embrace a spartan path seeking excellence of the mind and heart. We, too, are on a path of rigor, but not as the result of choice. Though we may pursue excellence in dealing with chronic pain, we may feel the weight of this unchosen path.

What do we do with the dark days? What do we do when we are simply overwhelmed by life as we know it? I was born inside the snowbelt in Syracuse, N.Y. When snow is a part of your life, it can provide wonderful opportunities. I recall my Dad building us igloos with blocks of snow and taking us sleigh riding. Snow can also provide an environment best avoided. Aside from the dangers presented by ice, being outside in the midst of a snowstorm can be a miserable experience. Shielding your face from stinging ice pellets isn't exactly a "winter wonderland" experience. On those days, it's best to be inside with a hot cup of tea or cocoa, curled up under a quilt, watching the snow from a place of safety and warmth.

This is exactly where we want to be on our dark days. We don't have to be in the midst of our storm every day. Sometimes it's best not to be. It's best to take a break and provide ourselves some comfort during the storm. We can recall that we will figure this out . . . but not today. Today is for breathing, relaxing, and putting it all out of our minds. A hot cup of tea or cocoa, a warm quilt, a good book or movie, and a window with a view of nature can provide a much needed respite. When you find yourself having a dark day, the best idea may just be to go inside, get comfortable, and wait until the storm plays itself out.

From Bored to Amazed

Chronic pain is boring. Sure, initially there can be a lot of drama associated with it. There are myriad ways in which it can affect your life and in the midst of those changes you may find yourself continually adapting. Yet, when all is said and done and you have adjusted to your new reality, it's . . . boring. The stasis of chronic pain typically just doesn't offer a lot that is interesting. Therefore, I always have my ear to the ground for anything that could provide interest or positive change. Here I'm not talking about developments in the medical field, though it seems responsible to keep oneself informed in that area. In this case, I'm talking about seeking out esoteric knowledge and approaches to pain.

One has to be careful about this. New or radical "cures" can cause damage and exacerbate suffering. I tend to stay away from unfamiliar approaches unless there is documentation and a significant history of success. I look more for tried and true methods that perhaps haven't gained much publicity or aren't widely practiced in my sphere of reference. An example of this on a greater scale occurred with the introduction of Eastern medicine to the Western world of medicine. Decades ago acupuncture was shrouded in mystery. Now it is covered by most insurance plans and Western doctors have come to realize that it can be a remarkable method of alleviating pain.

Recently, I watched the series Medicine Men Go Wild. This series covered the adventures of two British doctors who also happen to be twins, the van Tulleken brothers. They wanted to bring modern medicine to some of the most remote areas on earth. Surprisingly, they found they didn't have a lot to offer. People living in those areas had methods of maintaining health that were effective.

The episode that interested me most was Episode 2, "World of Pain." Though I don't remember all the details, I vividly recall a Tibetan man who had a procedure without anesthesia. He was quite calm and displayed no distress as the doctor worked. One of the British doctors said that Western patients having a similar procedure with no anesthesia would be screaming in pain. They asked the Tibetan man what his internal experience was during the procedure. He had been looking at a beautiful mountain view as it proceeded. He said, "I just think of something else."

What does this mean for us, aside from the fact that it's amazing? Well, we couldn't presume to have the abilities displayed by the Tibetan patient. Being raised in such a culture would certainly affect outlook and, thus, neural pathways that deal with pain. Those raised in a Western culture would have forged quite different neural pathways. This isn't something that could be changed overnight, if an individual found they were able to change it at all. And, yet, the varying experiences of pain aren't entirely cultural. Once when in a hospital, I was about to receive an injection. The nurse asked me if it was okay to proceed and I said, "Sure, go ahead. It's no big deal." She said, "Well, you wouldn't think so from the fifteen-year old girl who was screaming her head off when I gave her an injection."

How fascinating that one brain response is so different from another. Given these different experiences of pain among people, is there the potential for meaning in our experience of chronic pain? I find topics such as this one both completely absorbing and worthy of thought. Norman Doidge's book The Brain that Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science illuminated for me the amazing plasticity of the brain. If the stories in his book were not documented, I would have a hard time believing them. The knowledge that some brains do not perceive pain at the level of others, combined with the plasticity inherent in the brain does something wonderful. It opens the door of hope. I don't expect to be able to change my pain experience quickly, though that would be great. I don't know if in fact I can change it significantly, though that would be great. But I do have a project that is not boring. Slowly but surely I am working on paying attention to pain, experiencing it, and attempting to shift it downward. So far, I can report mixed success with an unanticipated side effect of exhilaration.

Self-Image

There are people who have dealt with chronic pain their entire lives. I have tremendous respect for them. But, that is not my experience and I can't speak to it. I can speak to chronic pain showing up unexpectedly and settling in to stay.

Who am I? That question used to elicit answers that had everything to do with my physical condition. "I am someone who works out all the time." "I am someone who didn't just buy a gym-quality treadmill, I use it." "I am someone who can work a sixteen-hour day, no problem." "I am someone who can pack all day to get ready for a move and then go to the track to unwind."

A number of years ago I had started working out at a state-of-the-art gym. I couldn't wait to get there and each time I worked a little harder. I remember walking home one day after working out. I felt great! I was lean, my muscles felt strong, and I was just where I wanted to be. I felt I was at the beginning of good things, on the road to some of the best health of my life. Little did I know that was not the beginning of that path, it was the end. A back injury brought my fitness regimen to a screeching and permanent halt.

What would my answers be today about who I am? If I defined myself only in terms of physical fitness, I might not have as much to be happy about. What do we do when self-image changes drastically? What do we do when we really enjoyed how we used to present to others, but would never have chosen how we present now? We have to find a way for our spirit to heal, to resolve mentally and emotionally the deep change that has occurred. A surface acceptance won't do it. We can say, "It is what it is," until we're blue in the face, but without new and vibrant meaning in our lives that is just an empty phrase. It is important to know that real inner healing can take place. This is something that others may be able to help you with, but that only you can do. Therefore, take it at your own pace. It's appropriate to enjoy input that is helpful, but to firmly reject outside interference and impatience. Even the most well-meaning people, whether family, friends, or professionals, can miss the mark in an attempt to be helpful. Evaluate what you hear and listen to your heart. This is new territory. It may take some time to get the lay of the land.

So, take a breath. In the past we may not have realized just how many paths were available to us. We may have chosen the one that seemed to be the best, or the one that appealed to us the most. Yet, here we are at the end of that path, but not at the end of choosing. The most human tendency, and really the most unproductive tendency, is to believe that our new options are defined by what they are not. Initially we may focus only on what may be lacking on a new path, missing the potential it may hold. This great change we undergo can take some time to process. Moments or days that you spend taking it all in, looking around at your new and unexpected landscape, absorbing the end and the beginning are what allow you to choose wisely. Give yourself time to understand what has happened and mull over the possibilities inherent in this change.

Who am I? My answers today have an entirely different focus than they did years ago. "I am someone who is compassionate, empathetic, and patient." "I am someone who is resourceful in the face of challenges." "I am someone who knows more about anatomy and nutrition than I ever thought possible." "I am someone who can advocate well for myself." "I am someone who has rediscovered my love of science." "I am more content than I have ever been."

Pushing Limits

To push ourselves or not to push ourselves. This is a choice we frequently face as we monitor and cope with pain. Sometimes pushing can be precisely the right thing to do. Many of us with sore and aching muscles push through our fatigue in physical therapy and work our way to better health. Supervised by a health professional we know that in this case we are not causing further damage, so we focus on the benefit to be gained by pushing ourselves beyond a comfortable limit.

The reverse side of the coin is ignoring, suppressing, or riding roughshod over pain to our own detriment. Sometimes frustration leads us here. Tired of the limits our condition imposes, we go ahead and surpass what we know to be safe. The feeling of freedom this may bring can come at great cost. Lifting that heavy object just this once may result in damage and/or increased pain that will be present for a long time, if not forever. Negative self-talk can also bring us here. If our inner voice is shaming us because we cannot function as if there were no pain, we may be tempted to raise our activity level to some "normal" standard that for us is injurious.

And what about new pain? For those who suffer chronic pain, new pain may be overwhelming in a unique way. We have some foresight about what life will be like if the new pain does not go away. That vision alone can tempt us to pretend that the new pain simply doesn't exist. We put off getting a diagnosis, ignore the pain, and potentially worsen the underlying cause.

Though these reactions to old and new pain are understandable, they are not productive. This is why monitoring our internal state is so important. In paying attention to our thoughts, we can ask ourselves questions. "Is this thought productive?" "Does this lead to better health?" "Is this thought appropriate in my situation?" "Am I really being fair to myself or am I expecting way too much of myself?" "Is this feeling about my pain genuine or the result of input from people who don't have or understand chronic pain?" "What is the safer, healthier choice in this case, pushing myself or deciding not to push myself?" These honest questions act as a barometer about how we're thinking and feeling. They can lead us to an inner place that is kinder and wiser. Once in that place we can act more fully in our own best interest. We can direct our energy and enthusiasm in ways that nurture our physical well-being and bolster our spirits. We can learn to push ourselves only when it's productive and to peacefully resist when it is not.

Opportunity

Whether or not we deal with chronic pain, we all face problems. This is the nature of life. I've never known anyone to skate through life problem-free. Problems can be a source of evolution for us, challenging us to reach for new heights, call upon our resources and develop new resources. Eventually, through dealing with problems we may find ourselves at an evolved level of functioning. Issues that used to seem insurmountable no longer distress us. We have navigated through them and now know the way.

Viewing life in this way, we may become eager to flex our problem-solving muscles, hoping that as we grow chronologically, we also grow in wisdom and capability. This can be true for those dealing with chronic pain. After all, we have a subset of problems that the general population does not face. We can actually use our pain as a means of growth and evolution. To use pain to develop patience, equanimity, and compassion is a wonderful thing. Strengthening our character in this way is a service both to ourselves and others.

Another use for pain is to gain greater control over our own minds and our perception of pain. Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche in his wonderful book, The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness, discusses this more Eastern approach to pain. He relates how his father deals with pain through controlling his own mind in a story that simply inspires wonder.

I don't make light of my pain. I'm not happy that I have it. Though it's kind of hard to remember what it was like before pain, if I had a choice, I would definitely choose not to have it. But since I do have it, I might as well make the most of it. It's empowering to look upon it as an opportunity to grow and to choose to take advantage of that opportunity.

A New Year's Gift

Happy New Year!

Give yourself a treat this New Year & vow to do something special for yourself every day. You deserve it! The perfect gift would be a meditation practice. Good for the body and mind, it will help with your pain and your response to pain. 

Meditation should be a lightening experience. Just as a butterfly alights upon a flower, so can your mind alight upon a focus. Daily meditating will strengthen your ability to control your mind and direct it consciously. This is so productive. No longer will you be at the mercy of fleeting thoughts and emotions.

An excellent meditation for the beginner or practiced meditator is 15-Minute Meditation for Health & Wellbeing. Whether you choose this or some other form of mediation, daily practice can transform your outlook and your ability to cope. Namaste.