Getting Comfortable with Life

For some reason most of us intuitively think that life should be fair. Those who work hard and are honest should be rewarded. Those who cheat and steal should not be. Yet we all know that's not quite the way it works. Sometimes people who are honest and work hard are rewarded. Sometimes they face difficulties. And, as much as it might rankle, sometimes crooks are rewarded with wealth and apparent happiness.

This view that life should be fair can be a sticking point for those who experience chronic pain, whether physical or emotional. We may wonder what we have done to deserve such pain, perhaps even going over past decisions to see if we can spot where we went wrong. The reality is that sometimes we experience difficulties that are not of our own making. Pain, both physical and emotional, can in part be the result of genetics. It can be the result of random events. Or, it can arise from a variety of factors.

The challenge is how we deal with the fact that life is often not fair. Railing against it is usually unproductive. It uses up a lot of energy and changes nothing. Throwing up our hands and succumbing completely isn't a very good solution either. What does seem to work well is a middle approach, one that acknowledges that life is not necessarily fair, but that it's important and productive to keep trying our best anyway.

There is a certain peace that comes from acknowledging that certain factors may be beyond our ability to control. The tension and anxiety attached to trying to control the uncontrollable evaporate and we are left with an unexpected peace. All the energy we put into a lack of acceptance is now available to use in a productive way. We can address the things we can control.

Seeing life for what it is, a wonderful, but in some ways unexplained, experience grounds us in reality. What used to cause discomfort is now just part of this varied and beautiful experience. Within it we grow, evolve and expand our horizons. No matter what happens to us, we try our best for the reward of who we become.