Getting Comfortable with Life

For some reason most of us intuitively think that life should be fair. Those who work hard and are honest should be rewarded. Those who cheat and steal should not be. Yet we all know that's not quite the way it works. Sometimes people who are honest and work hard are rewarded. Sometimes they face difficulties. And, as much as it might rankle, sometimes crooks are rewarded with wealth and apparent happiness.

This view that life should be fair can be a sticking point for those who experience chronic pain, whether physical or emotional. We may wonder what we have done to deserve such pain, perhaps even going over past decisions to see if we can spot where we went wrong. The reality is that sometimes we experience difficulties that are not of our own making. Pain, both physical and emotional, can in part be the result of genetics. It can be the result of random events. Or, it can arise from a variety of factors.

The challenge is how we deal with the fact that life is often not fair. Railing against it is usually unproductive. It uses up a lot of energy and changes nothing. Throwing up our hands and succumbing completely isn't a very good solution either. What does seem to work well is a middle approach, one that acknowledges that life is not necessarily fair, but that it's important and productive to keep trying our best anyway.

There is a certain peace that comes from acknowledging that certain factors may be beyond our ability to control. The tension and anxiety attached to trying to control the uncontrollable evaporate and we are left with an unexpected peace. All the energy we put into a lack of acceptance is now available to use in a productive way. We can address the things we can control.

Seeing life for what it is, a wonderful, but in some ways unexplained, experience grounds us in reality. What used to cause discomfort is now just part of this varied and beautiful experience. Within it we grow, evolve and expand our horizons. No matter what happens to us, we try our best for the reward of who we become.

Healing in Nature

Nature is healing. The blue of the sky, the grass between our toes, the smell of rain, digging in the dirt to plant, taking in this beautiful planet that is our home. All of this brings us closer to who we are and closer to healing.

Plants breathe out and we breathe in oxygen. We breathe out and plants breathe in carbon dioxide. Plants use the sun's energy to grow and in growing provide us with food. We thrive on what is here in nature because we are part of it. Nature feeds our bodies and our souls.

The Central Park Effect is a beautiful, lyrical documentary on birding. It is an immersion in nature. The beauty of the seasons, the foliage, and the migrators unfolds in the timeless paths and rhythms of nature. The Central Park Effect is a doorway to nature.

Whether we experience nature through a doorway such as a documentary, or through our own back door, we are constantly in nature, but often fail to be aware of that. Minds split with multi-tasking take in less of the splendor that surrounds us. Sensing the vibrating life in and around us brings us to the present moment. We are here now. In this present moment we heal.

Making Plans

Making plans can be lots of fun. Making plans can make you feel organized, on top of things, and, if you're planning a vacation or special night out, can make you feel a happy sense of anticipation. Even when you're making plans for something not quite fun, taking care of business can feel so productive.

The hitch, to quote Robert Burns is that 'The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men Gang aft agley,' or, to put it simply, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. John Lennon used the following quote in the song Beautiful Boy, 'Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.' All of this certainly rings true for those of us who experience chronic pain, whether that pain be physical or emotional. No one starts a day thinking, 'Hmmm, well the day looks good but I'd like to add a little pain to my itinerary.' Yet, sometimes that's what happens.

So what about those great plans that are now disrupted and either tabled or abandoned? Well, it's not so much the plans that count as how we respond to where we are. Obviously the plan has changed & our challenge is to roll with it. Resisting, fighting, regretting are not so productive. These things keep us spinning our wheels. Leaning into the new plan is a much more positive approach. That doesn't mean we necessarily embrace the new plan wholeheartedly. Perhaps when we lean in our weight will tip the balance just enough to throw the new plan off center and bring it to a place that's a bit more palatable.

Part of any journey is the unexpected, even those journeys that are carefully planned. How fortunate we are that our journey takes place in a great big glorious world. We don't always end up where we expected to be. The joy is in finding the beauty where we are.